Selamat Berjumpa Kembali....

Memang dah lama dah tulis, jangan kate tulis, jenguk pun susah...nak buat cam ne...limited time. Kalau nak citer sume baaanyak sangat....but the latest my baby daughter has been diagnosed with Bell's Palsy Syndrome... a condition where the muscle affected will be temporarily paralysed...according to Doctor Yasmin (KPJ Selangor Specialist Hospital formerly known as SMC). Aiesha kena on Oct. 26. Actually before that she had flu + diarrhea. On sunday she was not feeling well so bagi dia ubat for her flu, coughing....ubat mengantuk...early lagi dah tido....bila bangun next morning baru perasan that her mouth senget sebelah...masyaallah I was soo worried at that time...nak gi hospital, my mother is on her way to my house for birthday party of my niece kat Bukit Rahman, Sg Buloh. So nak x nak tunggu la sampai thari...before lunch sempat la gi SMC - juz jumpe MO. Dia kate coz of allergic to medication kena masuk ubat kot tangan (drip la tu)...masa nurse tu cucuk tangan aiesha, meleleh air mata aku...kesiannya....nie baru cucuk tangan....dengar pulak dia nangis "sakit tangan, ibu sakit tangan....."...kalau lah boleh aku gantikan tempat dia...tapi yang sedihnya lagi..nurse x jumpa urat tangan dia...tengok macam nak berpatah tangan aiesha dipulas-pulas....dah cucuk...salah pulak, terkeluar balik jarum tu...Ya Allah....kesian anak ibu...so MO advise try kat her behind...aku cakap ok lah doctor asal dia x sakit sangat...selesai cucuk, kena tunggu at least 30 minutes nak tengok whether ubat tu jalan ke x....my mother and anak2 dah lapar...so gi makan dulu sementara tunggu ubat tu spread....unfortunately after almost 1 hour still x de perubahan...so my mother and kids terus pergi dulu rumah my sister with my brother...we all (me, my husband and aiesha) go straight back to the hospital...

Once the MO tengok x der perubahan, dia suh cucuk 2nd dose (increase the quantity)...this time MO tu sendiri yang cucuk kat tangan aiesha....sekejap jer tapi menangis, menjerit aiesha...Hubby pun muka dah lain macam....MO suh tunggu lagi and advised to be warded but we decided not to and inform the MO to set up appointment with Pediatric.We went and see Doc Yasmin, that is when she informed us of the Bell's Palsy Syndrome...sedih x usah cakap lah...kesian aiesha...kecik, kecik dah sakit cam nie...tapi according to Doc the sickness will go away cuma akan mengambil masa yang agak lama...for children at least 4 weeks...x pe lah aku redha...nie cuma dugaan sikit dariNya...aiesha masih lagi bersama aku, masih boleh bergelak ketawa, masih boleh mendengar suara manjanya....Ibu sayang adik....

X sihat.....

Yesterday was on MC coz kena flu and slight fever. In the morning anta the kids to nursery and sekolah agama then trus gi klinik. The klinik opens at 8:30 am but the doctor arrives at 9:15 am. Boleh x? Adoi..dah la badan sakit2, kena lak tunggu doctor datang, last2 tertido dalam keta. Yang kelakarnya, kakak yang kat counter tu datang ketuk pintu keta, kate doktor dah sampai....sure dia kate lam hati...kronik dah budak nie....

Petangnya masa amik anak2, teacher lak kate esha demam and maybe kena chicken pox....alahai anak ibu...trus bwak klinik. Doktor pun x leh nak confirm lagik, tapi katenya mungkin yea....adussss...cam na nie...kena mintak cuti la gamaknya....dah la hubby outstation next week until Thursday...pengsan la....x per redha aje la..nak buat cam ner kan...dia pun bukan nak sakit....sian Aiesha....nabila pun x sihat....cubaan....alhamdulillah.

p/s: bos dah approve cuti next week...

Note: sabar, sabar, sabar, sabar........ :)

My Usual Day.....

Decided to tapau lauk yesterday so when to buy chicken soup before picking up my kids at the nursery/transite school. Aiesha was having her fun playing sliding with her friends. Nabila & Danial were somewhere around lah, as usual doing their things (playing la, apa lagi). So ask them to pack their bags and put them in the car and off we head back. Masa dalam keta, kakak inform that I have to go to their tuition class to meet their teacher for their report books. Aiya! only now she's informing, and good la tuition pun dah ade report books. Time dulu2 mane ade...juz tuition, test and get back your results that 's about it...anyways I told kakak, "kakak ibu nak siapkan kerja rumah dulu, then dalam pukul 9:00 pm kita g, ok?..". So that's done. Sampai jer rumah, trus angkat beg masuk rumah, collect all the dirty clothings, put them in the washing machine, yang dah siap cuci g sidai jap. Masak nasi, basuh pinggan mangkuk, mandikan esha, lipat kain jap (by the way tengah "cuti")....sapu rumah (semalam sempat both floors)...then gi mandi. Masa tengah siap tengok2 hubby balik - yey!!! Jarang dapat tengok dia balik awal on working days, normally 11:30 pm or 12 ++ am baru balik...wat to do :(
Went to the tuition, have a little chat with the teacher. Alhamdulillah, both ade peningkatan...cuma kena lebihkan lagi usaha...insyaallah. And the nite continues in me settling the house chores which are still pending. Around 11 ++ - resting time.....whew...what a day...

Note: Manage to catch the "rat" that has been making my dapur miserable....at last...gotcha!!!

Activity Last Sunday.......

Last Sunday morning, we went to Sg Chongkak, Hulu Langat for a morning dip.....(aiseyman cam karangan lak...heeeeee :] )..anyways gerakkan my kids awal...jom lets go and mandi sungai!! uishhh, laju jer bangun, if not punyala susah nak bangun pagi yea.....we had our breakfast at one of the gerai along the way to Sg Chongkak, it was nasi lemak kukus (which taste more like nasik biasa yang dikukus), ayam goreng berempah and sambal....and what else if not teh tarik, all 4 of us. Right after eating the kids were so excited to get to the Sungai...so here we come!!! Sampai jer my hubby trus do the necessity, heh, heh.....myself and anak2 gi bentang tikar kat tepi sungai, and change their clothings into swim wear attire.....then apalagi...dive into the water!!!! the water was soooo cold, yea la early in the morningkan...surprisingly aiesha did not turn blue, ieya la toddlerkan....daya ketahanan tu kurang la skit....but she really enjoyed her dipping session with her ayah....we spent our family outing tu until 11:00 am, otw balik my hubby singgah kat Batu 18, Hulu Langat, makan nasik lauk minang....sedap gak, ikan keli masak sambal, i kan baung masak lemak...wow! best giler....tapi I had to control my intake of nasik coz nanti naik balik badan....dah la nak turunkan sekilo pun bagai nak rak....uuuuihhh x leh, x leh...balik I had to drive since hubby dah sleepy sesangat, couldn't drive, tinggal la i sorang yang drive, yang lain2 dah sampai la la land.....

"If I had My child to Raise Over Again"..........

This poem is written by Diane Lemons (taken from Chicken Soup for the Soul....its a book)

If I had my child to raise all over again

I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later

I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less

I would do less correcting and more connecting

I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes

I would care to know less and know to care more

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites

I'd stop playing serious and seriously play

I would run through more fields & gaze at more stars.......

my sweethearts...

Since maidless nie, baru terasa peritnya membesarkan anak-anak with less helping hands...rasa nak terpengsan is the right word. Sometimes i wonder yea, macam mana some mothers can do it all sendiri-sendiri, with breakfast and all - hari bekerja mind you....i nie selalunya will get my sleep around 12:00 - 1:00 am pun x terbangun pukul 5:00 pagi no matter how hard i reminded myself to get up early so that x terkejar2. Sian my kids..... Am i not a good mother, entah la i am trying my level best to provide everything to my kids but then.... i really envy to those mothers that can do-it-all plus do-it-yourself thingy....my 100% respect to you guys!!!!! Anyways, cuba and terus mencuba. I dun think i will take another maid even thou my to do lists is like .....dah x terlisted lagi dah...mind you the headache that have to face bila character maid is not as expected....yer la, dia pun bukan family, so perangai sure lain kan....so hopefully i will be able to be that supermom, superwoman....but of course sometimes there are times that i juz need to juz let my hair down....and of course the crying goes on when the emotions juz need to be released...tapi lepas tu ok balik...hack! i'm juz human.... ; )........

Dugaan Hidup

Terkenang balik cerita dulu....susahnya menghadapi dugaan hidup sejak kecik....kenapa ade ibubapa yang susah hendak faham tanggungjawab hakiki dalam membesarkan anak2? Lafaz nikah memang senang diucap tapi tanggungjawab yang menanti...masyaallah, besarnya. Pernikahan bukan sekadar menghalalkan apa yang haram tapi lebih mendalam dari itu. Bukan semua orang boleh melaksanakannya 100%, setulus dan seikhlas yang mungkin. Aku banyak belajar dari kesilapan. Cuma kadang2 sedar kesilapan without membetulkannya pun salah. x senang menerima hakikat kita buat silap dan proses membetulkannya pun bukan sesuatu yang senang apatah lagi memperbaiki hanya seorang diri atau sebelah pihak. I have gone thru a lot, sometimes believing what I had to go thru is surreal...but things happened whether u want it or not. Setiap dugaan yang diturunkanNya adalah sesuatu yang boleh ditanggung dan ianya untuk menguji kesabaran, keimanan individu itu. Aku harus menerima sume nie, biarpun pedih aku mesti lalui sumenya untuk anak2 aku. Cuma doa aku supaya aku tabah dan semakin kuat hadapi setiap dugaan yang diturunkanNya. Amin.

Note: Dugaan dah sebati dalam hidup aku - 36 tahun....

Dugaan.....

Semalam aku puasa ganti. Agaknye disebabkan dah lama x berpuasa, aku rase betul-betul sukar nak habiskan satu hari tu....tapi alhamdulillah berjaya jugak aku completekan. Tapi sakit kepalanya sepanjang hari, sampaikan waktu berbuka pun x lalu nak makan. Sempat minum nescafe panas dalam dua, tiga teguk & makan nasik goreng dua, tiga suap. Pas tu terus rasa mual. Langsung x jadik makan. Kepala rasa berpusing2. Kesian budak bertiga tu. Makan, minum, main sendiri jer. Esha biasa la bukannya faham ibu dia sakit, still nak duk berkepit gak. Adoi la hai, adik...adik, ibu nie sakit. Mintak tolong kakak buatkan susu esha lepas minum aiseyman, ter *tut* pulak, terpaksa la aku bangun basuhkan dulu. Lepas tu suh esha baring and tidur sama, tidur awal la hari nie dik.....alhamdulillah kakak and abang, dah pandai bawak diri. Dah besar dah. Sedar2 dah dekat pukul 1:00 pagi, kejutkan sume suh naik atas tidur. Hubby lum balik keja lagi. Tu lah nak buat cam ner, keja dgn multinational company nie, terpaksa banyak berkorban. Ade masa aku rasa susah betul nak faham, most of the time outstation - luar/dalam negara...aku la ayah aku la ibu. Payah nak explain macam mane rasenya, hanya orang yang faham jer yang tau perasaannya terpaksa hadapi banyak perkara sorang2...bawak anak klinik malam2, anta ambik anak sekolah, beli keperluan dapur/anak sekolah, bayar bil, keta rosak dan 1001 macam lagi lah.....nak bising2 pun dah x larat dah...cuma aku mohon padaNya berikan aku kekuatan, kesabaran, kesihatan yang baik supaya aku boleh besarkan anak2. Amin.

Note: Sabar...sabar....sabar